Tuesday, January 22, 2008

me, myself..

i'm very upset..
i failed as a brother, really.. tearing silently away..
i picked up my phone and the first number i hit was her's nos.
i dun know why.. but whenever im upset now, i jus hit her nos.
but she's busy..
i dun dare to bother others, best friend having her paper tmr..
brothers have their problems too; exam, ns..
i dono who to turn to..
i called wee seng for help.. seriously, i nv ever so sad ever in my life..
i mean i nv bother wee seng over such stuffs before.. but i think only he able to help me now..
i dono how to say how im feeling..
i only hope for someone to be by my side now..

i shoulder the responsibility to settle this problem..
i dun wanna my parents to do it.. i know my dad is hot-tempered, i cant get him to do it in case it get worse.. & i wouldnt wan my mum to be doing it either..
im silently absorbing all the things even thou im really at a loss of wad to do..
being an elder is not easy.. u had the responsibility too to take care of the well being of ur family..
i hope i stay strong enough to go thru this.. im very tired myself too..

a girlfriend is for u to dote, not for u to bully..
u love her as she is, not scold her and ask her to do things that she dun like too..
u respect her decision and dun force her into situation she dun like to be in..

i like to keep things on my own..
and try to act happy in front of others..
cos there's no one out there who really know how im feeling..
my heart is locked and no one has the key to it..
i rather hurt myself, tears myself out.. than to let other know my problems
others have their own issues too, i shldn't be so selfish and bother them much..
im learning to be strong.. learning.. still learning..
all i hope is it's will be over soon, soon, real soon. =(